[blml] Do you remember the 5th friday comps for the SS Finland trophy?
John Probst
john at asimere.com
Mon Sep 11 02:30:25 CEST 2006
I was deleting old files and ran across this. I'd forgotten all about it.
Poor hermY, he takes a lot of flak :) John
Young Chelsea heat of ssf with sound effects
14 1/2 Tables, 12 Round 2-board Mitchell
2 rounds of arrow switch, 30 boards in play
15 NS phantom. EW Add 20
1) Dramatis personnae - "the usual suspects"
<namelist deleted>
Act 1, Scene 1, A smoky basement in Chelsea, London
Enter A noisesome rabble preceded by Mahmoud, the Egyptian
Mahmoud: "Take your places please, 2 board rounds"
there is no reaction from the rabble
Mahmoud: "TAKE YOUR PLACES NOW"
still no action
Mahmoud: "BUMS IN SEATS PLEASE"
the players reluctantly sit down, the boards are distributed,
the game starts five minutes late, the hubbub reaches a crescendo.
Mahmoud: [purple with effort] "QUIET PLEASE"
there is a mild diminution of the riot. Play starts
Act 1, Scene 2,
Board 1 2 Board 3 4 Board 5 6
1 21 5 -11 2 22 -5 -10 3 23 -45 -5
14 32 -40 -11 1 35 13 14 2 21 -45 -5
13 30 5 10 14 31 -10 14 1 34 -45 -10
12 28 10 15 13 29 -10 14 14 30 -42 11
11 26 5 10 12 27 15 62 13 28 5 17
10 24 5 0 11 25 13 17 12 26 -48 11
9 22 15 -11 10 23 13 -10 11 24 -48 -5
8 35 -42 5 9 21 13 -10 10 22 -45 11
7 33 5 -20 8 34 40 14 9 35 -45 11
31 6 10 5 32 7 18 14 33 8 -48 -10
29 5 -40 5 30 6 11 -10 31 7 45 50
Mahmoud: "Move please"
complete catatonia
Mahmoud: "MOVE PLEASE, EAST-WEST UP ONE, BOARDS DOWN ONE"
sullen compliance, the noise is measured at the earthquake
laboratory in Antwerpen, bending the needle on the machine
Mahmoud: "TABLE 2, stop discussing the hand AND MOVE ...
... GO TO TABLE 3, NOT THE BAR. Put the Boards
on Table 1, not the floor"
Pair 22 shuffle to the next table complaining about terrorism.
The curtain comes down and rises to reveal
Act 1, Scene 3, a smoke churned atmosphere redolent of Beirut
on a better day. [Actually Thursday is a no-smoking day, but I'm
getting into this story]
Board 7 8 Board 9 10 Board 11 12
4 24 14 10 5 25 9 63 6 26 -65 -46
3 22 -10 10 4 23 9 63 5 24 10 10
2 35 -10 5 3 21 -11 14 4 22 30 -43
1 33 12 -12 2 34 12 -10 3 35 -20 -43
14 29 -10 -11 1 32 -11 66 2 33 45 -14
13 27 62 -11 14 28 11 11 1 31 -65 -43
12 25 -10 5 13 26 28 66 14 27 -48 -43
11 23 -10 11 12 24 10 63 13 25 45 -46
10 21 -20 5 11 22 -11 66 12 23 -65 15
34 9 12 -14 35 10 -11 63 21 11 -65 -43
32 8 63 -14 33 9 -20 14 34 10 -45 -43
Mahmoud: [cowering in the Director's redoubt] "Move please"
The noise increases
Mahmoud: "We have a house rule that Boards dealt today are
to be played today. [Veins standing out on head]
MOVE PLEASE"
mass exodus to bar
Mahmoud: [Reasonably] "Please move and play"
Players sit down for round 8
Chorus: "We've played these Boards"
Mahmoud "SKIP A TABLE! Table 7 Put the hands away and SKIP"
Chorus: "Terrorist".
The machine in Antwerpen falls off its stand amputating the right
hand of Eric the Viking. Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkerie' heard
as background noise on the sub-space aether.
Curtain falls: Pandemonium in the aisles. It rises to reveal
Act 2, Scene 1. Mahmoud armed with a cattle-prod, strong smell
of sulphur, Mephistopheles offering him a glowing tablet.
Board 13 14 Board 15 16 Board 17 18
7 27 11 -11 8 28 66 13 9 29 5 -45
6 25 50 -5 7 26 -20 -11 8 27 10 -48
5 23 14 -8 6 24 66 80 7 25 15 -17
4 21 14 -14 5 22 63 30 6 23 10 -42
3 34 20 -8 4 35 66 20 5 21 5 -42
2 32 30 -14 3 33 66 20 4 34 -14 -48
1 30 -20 -11 2 31 -10 20 3 32 -14 -51
14 26 20 -17 1 29 66 43 2 30 5 -17
13 24 10 -11 14 25 -30 20 1 28 15 -42
22 12 10 -14 23 13 63 10 24 14 -20 -42
35 11 -20 20 21 12 50 10 22 13 5 -51
Mahmoud: "2 rounds to go, please arrow-switch"
Chorus: "Terrorist"
Mahmoud: [waving cattle prod] "MOVING PAIRS PLAY N/S"
Aftershocks cause building damage in Antwerpen, HdW hit
on head by collapsing tables at "The Squeeze". [Possibility
of legal rulings in Belgium - watch this space]. Chorus of
Niebelungen singing "We shall overcome" on sub-space aether.
Mahmoud: "It's more interesting watching paint dry. MOVE!"
ss Finland inundated by tidal wave, shock epicentre in
West London. Mahmoud sprouting horns in forehead. The Acol
Bridge Club reduced to rubble
Act 2, Scene 2. A strange eerie silence
Board 19 20 Board 21 22 Board 23 24
10 30 -5 11 11 31 71 10 12 32 15 10
9 28 20 11 10 29 -14 20 11 30 -10 -5
8 26 -5 9 9 27 -40 40 10 28 15 -5
7 24 42 -13 8 25 -42 80 9 26 12 5
6 22 14 9 7 23 60 -50 8 24 11 -10
5 35 10 18 6 21 13 -30 7 22 9 10
4 33 -5 -14 5 34 10 40 6 35 12 -10
3 31 42 -11 4 32 -17 -15 5 33 15 -10
2 29 -5 -10 3 30 -17 -30 4 31 18 -5
1 27 17 9 28 2 -30 110 3 29 18 -5
23 14 10 9 26 1 5 -5 27 2 12 -5
25 1 15 -15
Group of players sitting in sylvan glade under bright sunlight
Stream splashing in background, pan-pipes heard chanting
Mahmoud: [sporting full set of antlers] "Scores will be out in
5 minutes"
Chorus: "Pint of warm flat sour beer please, Wendy"
Board 25 26 Board 27 28 Board 29 30
13 33 15 65 14 34 42 ** 14 33 -65 80 ** unplayed
12 31 -5 68 13 32 46 -18 13 31 -65 -5 scores factored
11 29 40 63 12 30 40 11 12 29 -65 10
10 27 11 62 11 28 18 -10 11 27 -20 40
9 25 -5 62 10 26 46 -12 10 25 -62 15
8 23 40 66 9 24 46 -12 9 23 -62 -5
7 21 15 66 8 22 40 -15 8 21 -65 40
6 34 15 65 7 35 43 5 7 34 -62 18
5 32 40 63 6 33 40 10 6 32 -65 -15
4 30 -5 65 5 31 40 -12 30 5 -62 -5
28 3 -5 65 29 4 42 -12 28 4 -65 5
26 2 -5 65 27 3 17 5
The curtain falls at the end of Act 2. The bar is heaving.
Gallons of warm flat sour beer being consumed.
Mahmoud is breathing incantations over the 286 in the corner.
A scrap of smoking parchment appears on the bar notice board.
Handel's "Judas Maccabaeus" 'See how the conquering hero ...'
Order is restored from chaos, just another night down at the YC.
1 Tim Kitely Jeffrey Mervis 344 65.25%
2 Niklas Sandqvist Janet de Botton 315 59.73%
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