[blml] Regrets

[Robert Frick]

On Sun, 13 Apr 2008 11:24:51 -0400, Jeff Easterson <JffEstrsn at aol.com>  
wrote:

> We have already lost Ed Reppert, and now raija (mustikka). They were two
> of my favourite blmlers and I always found their comments interesting
> and often clever/funny.  I think it is most regrettable that we are
> losing some of our best people but not those whose messages are less
> amusing and interesting. Is there nothing we can do to stop this?  JE

An important purpose of BLML is to argue/debate/discuss differing  
viewpoints. That naturally leads to uncivil behavior, humans being what  
they are, unless the people show wisdom and work hard to avoid it. To me,  
the members of BLML in general do a GREAT job of this.

raija perhaps did not work at this. He characterized Nigel's point of view  
as Nigel advocating the players should lie. I sincerely doubt that (1)  
Nigel (or whoever) used the word lying to characterize their own  
positions, or that (2) Nigel appreciated that word being used to portray  
his position, or that (3) any intelligent discussion was advanced by the  
use of that term.

raija wrote: "There is an abrasive element on this forum which destroys  
civility." If he felt his civility was being destroyed, I believe he is  
making a good choice to leave. I would of course prefer that he stay and  
practice being civil and ignoring uncivility, but it is his life and his  
decision.

As for strategies (is there nothing we can do...), you can try to be  
civil, and you can ignore those who are not. If everyone believes someone  
is uncivil and ignores that person, then they will leave. But it looks  
like BLML is doing as good of job as you can.

Bordering on the uncivil, but it seems useful... Many years ago I joined a  
newsgroup dominated by people who thought alike and were not civil to  
differing opinions (but they were civil to each other). I expressed a  
viewpoint opposed to theirs, and I was civil throughout the battle that  
followed while they were not. This battle ended when they all left the  
newsgroup to form their own newsgroup. That was not the outcome I was  
striving for, but that is what happened  
(http://satyagraha1.com/mybattle.htm).

It would probably be natural if I hated raija for his perceived attacks on  
me. But we had recently had a pleasant interaction, and I had hoped to  
create a friendly relationship. I am sorry that he has left. But, as you  
may have guessed, I am unsympathetic if he is trying to portray himself as  
the injured nonoffending side.

Bob